WHEN CHILDREN TRIGGER US: The Mirror of (re)Parenting

mirror of reparenting

“Every trigger is a teacher, showing us where our inner child still needs our love and attention.” – Lisa Watson

When we understand that parenting children and re-parenting ourselves are two sides of the same coin, we discover a profound truth: the nurturing practices that help children thrive are exactly what our inner child needs to heal. As we learn to parent consciously, we find that each practice we implement for the children in our lives can be mirrored inward for our own healing journey.

Have you ever noticed how a child’s behavior can instantly activate intense emotional reactions within you? Perhaps it is their refusal to listen, their persistent whining, or their struggle with sharing that sends you into an unexpected spiral of frustration. What if I told you that these triggering moments are not about the child at all, but rather windows into your own unhealed inner child wounds?

THE MIRROR OF BEHAVIOR: UNDERSTANDING OUR TRIGGERS

When we find ourselves intensely reactive to a child’s behavior, we are often encountering parts of ourselves that were once silenced, shamed, or suppressed. That child who refuses to listen might be reflecting back to us times when we were forced to comply without question.

Their loud, disruptive behavior might echo the authentic expression we were never allowed to express when we were children - which is deeply troubling as it reminds us of how we were forced to disconnect from our authenticity to be loved, accepted and feel safe.

THE MISCONCEPTION OF TRIGGERS

WHAT LIES BENEATH

THE NERVOUS SYSTEM CONNECTION: UNDERSTANDING OUR REACTIONS

Our bodies hold memories of our early childhood experiences – both the comfortable and uncomfortable ones. These memories create an internal safety map that guides our reactions today. When a child’s behavior touches upon our old wounds, our nervous system responds automatically – just as it learned to do in our own childhood. We might find ourselves shifting from a state of calm and connection into either defensive reactions (like anger or control) or emotional withdrawal (like shutting down or disconnecting). These are the same protective patterns our nervous system developed to keep us safe when we were young.

SIGNS OF NERVOUS SYSTEM ACTIVATION

RECOGNIZING THE PATTERNS

THE PARALLEL PATH: 7 ESSENTIAL PRACTICES FOR BOTH PARENTING AND (re)PARENTING JOURNEYS

As we begin to recognize these patterns and understand their origins, we can transform our approach to both parenting and self-healing. The beautiful synchronicity is that what serves the child also serves our inner child. Each practice below offers a dual opportunity to show up differently for the children in our lives while simultaneously tending to our own inner healing. Let us explore these parallel practices that honor both journeys:

7 ESSENTIAL PRACTICES

FOR BOTH PARENTING AND (re)PARENTING JOURNEYS

(1) ACCEPTANCE & PAUSE – RESPOND RATHER THAN REACT

WITH A CHILD: Pause to hold space for the child to simply express and feel their feelings, without lecturing, teaching, or interrupting.

WITH YOURSELF: Take 90 seconds to play witness to your own emotional feelings and reactions without judgment.

(2) APOLOGIZE

WITH A CHILD: Apologize when you’ve been reactive, showing them that mistakes are human and repair is possible.

WITH YOURSELF: Extend self-forgiveness for your learned patterns and behaviors, acknowledging that you are doing the best you can in each moment.

(3) CONNECTION

WITH A CHILD: Connect daily at their level, spending dedicated time in their world doing what interests them.

WITH YOURSELF: Schedule regular inner child connection time, engaging in activities that bring you joy and playfulness.

(4) CHOICES

WITH A CHILD: Offer weighted choices instead of rigid rules, empowering them to participate in decision-making.

WITH YOURSELF: Give yourself permission to choose differently than your conditioning, exploring options beyond your learned limitations.

(5) EMOTIONALLY REGULATE

WITH A CHILD: Co-regulate through presence, holding space for big emotions without trying to fix or change them.

WITH YOURSELF: Self-soothe through embodied presence practices, staying with uncomfortable feelings as they move through.

(6) EMPATHY & CREATIVITY

WITH A CHILD: Create “YES/NO” sandwiches, finding ways to honor their desires while maintaining necessary boundaries.

WITH YOURSELF: Find creative alternatives to rigid internal rules, balancing structure with flexibility.

(7) ROUTINE

WITH A CHILD: Maintain supportive routines that create predictability and safety in their daily experience.

WITH YOURSELF: Create safety through consistent self-care practices, honoring your need for structure and support.

As we practice these parallel approaches, we discover that every triggering moment holds a dual invitation for healing. The very situations that challenge us most reveal exactly where transformation awaits – both in our relationship with children and with ourselves. What we once perceived as problems to fix become doorways to deeper understanding, offering us continuous opportunities to choose a new way of responding.

HEALING THROUGH AWARENESS

TRANSFORMING TRIGGERS INTO GROWTH

REFLECTIVE QUESTIONS

DEEPENING YOUR AWARENESS

Take some time to sit with the following questions, allowing your answers to emerge from a place of honest self-reflection. Remember, there are no wrong answers – only opportunities for greater awareness and healing.

AFFIRMATIONS FOR TRANSFORMATION

PROGRAMMING NEW BELIEFS

Speaking these truths aloud helps rewire your neural pathways and strengthen new beliefs:

ARE YOU READY TO START YOUR (re)PARENTING JOURNEY?

I have carefully curated and designed the Complete Guide to (re)Parenting Yourself, just for you!! START NOW to change the subconscious beliefs that are keeping you from creating the reality you desire.

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CompleteGuide Mockup

Remember, every trigger is an invitation to heal, every challenging moment an opportunity to (re)parent yourself and others with greater consciousness.

With love and support for your journey,

LisaWatson Script BLK

Note: If you would like a guide to assist you with your own (re)Parenting journey, or  simply need some support in a particular area, I am here for you.

Please email me at: Please email me at: [email protected] or

Book a free 30-minute consultation with this link: https://calendly.com/30min-breakthrough-call