THE HIDDEN BURDEN OF EXPECTATIONS: Finding Peace in Acceptance

“Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass. It’s about learning to dance in the rain.” – Vivian Greene

Have you ever found yourself caught in unexpected rain, with plans seemingly ruined, only to discover a moment of joy in embracing the downpour? Like life itself, the weather rarely matches our expectations – it can be sunnier, stormier, or more unpredictable than for what we planned. This week’s exploration of expectations and acceptance connects deeply with my July ’24 newsletter:

While that blog is centered on a journey that taught me about embracing unexpected changes, today we are diving into an even deeper truth:

What is the relationship between expectations and disappointment, and how can understanding this connection transform our experience of life?

THE ROOT OF DISCOMFORT

UNDERSTANDING OUR EXPECTATIONS

The source of our suffering often lies not in our circumstances, but in our expectations about how things “should” be:

1. Personal Expectations:

How our lives should unfold and at what particular age
How much money we should make or job we should hold
What we deserve or don’t deserve

2. Relationship Expectations:

How romantic partnerships should develop
What level of emotional support we should receive
How intimacy should look and feel
How shared resources and chores should be managed and shared

3. Societal Expectations:

How the world should operate
What justice should look like
How systems should function

4. Spiritual Expectations:

What spiritual guidance should sound or look like
How spiritual growth should happen
What enlightenment will bring

5. Parenting Expectations:

How our children should behave or develop
What interests or talents they will display
How they will respond to our guidance
How their health and wellbeing will unfold
What co-parenting will look and feel like

“Life will give you whatever experience is most helpful for the evolution of your consciousness.” – Eckhart Tolle

THE ILLUSION OF “SHOULD”: Understanding the Impact of Expectations

When we find ourselves in challenging situations, particularly in relationships, we often suffer due to our expectations of how things “should” be. Consider being in a difficult or narcissistic relationship – the pain often comes from believing “this should not be happening to me” or “my partner should treat me differently.”

Yet from a spiritual perspective, these challenging relationships are precisely what we chose for our soul’s evolution. Every difficult situation presents an opportunity for growth and self-discovery.

These situations aren’t mistakes – they are perfectly designed classrooms for our soul’s expansion. The same applies to larger societal challenges we face. The discomfort we feel about world events, political systems, or social injustices are all opportunities for collective growth and awakening.

One of the greatest misconceptions we have inherited is that life should be comfortable and consistently happy. This expectation itself becomes a source of profound disappointment. Life is not about constant comfort – it is about growth, experience, and evolution.

WHEN FACED WITH RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGES

ASK YOURSELF THESE QUESTIONS

What aspects of myself am I being called to strengthen?
What boundaries need to be established?
How am I being invited to use my voice?
Where can I deepen my self-love and self-worth?
What does my inner child need from me to feel safe and loved here?

A NOTE ON ABUSE IN A RELATIONSHIP AND SELF-EMPOWERMENT

It is crucial to understand that recognizing the spiritual purpose of challenging relationships does not mean accepting or enduring abuse. If you are in an abusive situation, you are not meant to be a martyr. Often, these difficult experiences serve as catalysts for developing self-love, respect, and the courage to demand better treatment.

Having survived a 25+ year narcissistic and abusive relationship myself, I would never wish that experience on anyone. However, I emerged as a master boundary-setter and deeply self-empowered individual. These skills and strengths were forged in those challenging times. The lesson was not to endure abuse, but to recognize my worth and power to create change.

ARE YOU IN AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP?

WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW

Recognizing abuse patterns is part of spiritual growth.
The spiritual lesson might be learning to trust your inner guidance.
There’s a difference between learning from challenges and enduring harm.
Breaking free requires support – reach out to professionals and loved ones.
Healing is possible and you deserve support through the process.
If children are involved, breaking free teaches them self-respect, self-love and self-empowerment.
Consider that the “sunk cost fallacy” often keeps people in harmful relationships. This is the belief that because you have already invested years, energy, or resources, you must continue – even when staying causes harm. Your past investment is not a good reason to keep investing in something that diminishes your wellbeing.
Every day is a new opportunity to choose differently, regardless of how long you’ve been in the situation

“You can’t stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.” – Jon Kabat-Zinn

THE SPIRITUAL PERSPECTIVE – SEEING BEYOND THE ILLUSION

Consider this: We are spiritual beings having a human experience in a holographic reality. Quantum physics and esoteric wisdom reveal this – a construct that allows us to experience growth. In truth, we are infinite beings who have incarnated thousands of times, like actors taking on different roles in an eternal play for the expansion of consciousness.

Each lifetime is an opportunity to experience different aspects of creation, to understand our true empowered nature, and to realize our ability to shape reality through our energetic field.

THE BIGGER PICTURE

REVEALING THE MAGNIFICENCE OF CREATION

Everything is exactly as it is meant to be
We are here to experience all aspects of existence
Each moment offers an opportunity for growth
Pain and joy are equal teachers in our evolution

MOVING BEYOND EXPECTATIONS

PRACTICAL STEPS TO FREEDOM

Recognize What You Can Control:

Your responses
Personal boundaries
Daily choices and actions
Your perspective

Release What You Cannot Control:

Others’ behaviors
Global events
Past experiences
Future outcomes

Take Inspired Action:

Set healthy boundaries
Make conscious choices
Create sustainable changes
Trust your inner guidance

BE LIKE WATER

THE WISDOM OF ADAPTABILITY

Remain flexible in our approach to challenges
Maintain our essential nature while adapting to circumstances
Find creative paths forward without forcing or fighting
Stay soft yet powerful in our responses to life

“Empty your mind, be formless, and shapeless, like water.” – Bruce Lee

Bruce Lee’s profound metaphor teaches us about the power of adaptability. Water doesn’t fight against obstacles – it flows around them, finding the path of least resistance while maintaining its essential nature. Water is both powerful and gentle, capable of wearing away mountains while also nurturing life.

REFLECTIVE QUESTIONS / JOURNAL PROMPTS

DEEPENING YOUR UNDERSTANDING

What expectations are causing you the most discomfort or disappointment right now?
How might your experience change if you released all expectations around this situation or experience?
What new story could you tell yourself about this situation from the perspective of, “everything is happening for my highest good”?

You are a divine being experiencing this reality through your human avatar. Every experience, whether perceived as positive or negative, is an opportunity to know yourself as the infinite creator that you are.

ARE YOU READY TO RELEASE YOUR LIMITING EXPECTATIONS?

Transform your relationship with yourself through these carefully curated Self-Awareness Toolkits. Discover the subconscious beliefs that create unnecessary expectations and block your path to peace.

AWARENESS LEADS TO ACCEPTANCE OF SELF & OTHERS

With love and acceptance,

Note:IIf you are looking to heal the beliefs that keep you in an endless disappointing cycle of expectations, or you would simply like support in navigating this complex world we live in, I am here for you!

Email me at: [email protected] or

Book a free 30-minute consultation with this link: https://calendly.com/30min-breakthrough-call